Bianca’s Story
It’s integral that your parents encourage you to not let things be a barrier, but more a hurdle, a speedbump that you just push your way through knowing that there are always speed bumps, but in between the speedbumps there is no reason why you can’t enjoy everything that life gives you. It’s an empowering thing as an adult because when there is a setback, I just see it as anther speedbump that I can get through.
I have also used this in relationships, I’m now in my first really serious relationship. We have fights and we’re both determined to work through things and communicate. I don’t like walls or anything that says, ‘I can’t do it’. I view it more as a hurdle, as something I can overcome. With CF everyone is so different with so many different experiences. In school I had a few hospitalisations which became a bit more frequent as I got older. It’s always a readjustment when I have been healthy, I have let some of my treatments slip and have had to then get back into them. I recently joined a netball team, but then COVID-19 happened so then we bought bikes so that’s been good too.
Having CF makes you stronger, it makes me want to go after things harder than anything. A lot of it comes from my parents, they always said “what do you want to do” they got me to dream big. I was never allowed to just stay inside because it was cold, I was told to go outside, but take a jumper. My parents lived overseas, they were out of the box, they always said “life is a gift, take hold of it”. I had a dream of going to England to travel, I did it on my own and it was one of my most empowering experiences.
Dreams are out there to be pursued. An integral part is to have support. As a child it was my family, as I got older it was friends and now it’s my partner too. Even work colleagues; my boss has really encouraged me to take on a new project that is really stretching me and I’m really growing from that. Work is an achievement I’m really blessed who I with, have been there for 8 years. A really flexible employer that has supported me through when I was really unwell and had to take a lot of time off, fortunately had a life changing operation that allowed me to get back into life and employment with the same company. I have now turned my life around, working and have bought my own house. I am part of the community and part of the organisation. I work for a mining company in the IT Department, business support officer. Work is a really big accomplishment for me, it’s a blessing and I really value being financially independent, such a great thing you work hard, and you can reward yourself. Having an organisation that looks after you is so important, so if you’re with an organisation that understands your health needs, stay with them.
Bit the bullet and went on a dating app. Very nervous on the first date. I was actually in hospital when he first messaged me on the app, so I had to tell him I was in hospital and he responded couldn’t be worse than my day I’m in a hospital – he works in a hospital. Right from the start there was no hiding CF. We talked for a few weeks before our first date.
Mum has had to take a bit of a backstep now that I’m in this relationship. My partner now wants to assist with things like IV antibiotics and reminds me to take enzymes. We went on a family lunch and he asked, “have you had your enzymes?” She started giggling as that is something she might have asked.
When you find something good, hold on to it. Very early on I tried to push him away because I didn’t think I was good enough – thought he should have someone healthier.
Thankfully, he didn’t let go, CF does play a role, but find someone that sees you and not the CF.
Netball was a big achievement getting out and playing a team sport as I didn’t want to let the team down – was relegated to centre but I manage to do it its really felt like a big achievement. When you start exercising it’s hard, just take every little step as an achievement. I’m also very much a part of my church an active par to my community. Those people were really there for me when I was really sick so being part of a community is really important, particularly at times like COVID-19, people were messaging me to bring me things from the shops etc. I would not have had that if I had not put myself out in those circles. I got to know my neighbours and they have really helped too. Not one of us are superhumans; we need each other. It takes time to find the right people, but it’s so important.
Don’t doubt yourself, your mind is a strong thing. CF throws a lot of curve balls at you, but you are stronger than you think and reach out if you need help. Sometimes when I was younger, I wish I had someone who was older to talk to.